i get those messages all the time

by

i get those messages all the time

 

i think high-rise i think windows i think here’s

an idea i’d play with in a box            for a while

then we’d let go real concrete

real chill.            i put on my hat & walking shoes.

i take me to the impolitic, the inalienable. do steps

do inventory do            car insurance? by Thursday

we’ll feel good about it have you

 

slapped me he says, cussed me out? no, sobbing

cascades over breakfast cereal

dinners            the Cardenas Market & Carnicería

Guadalajara the high points            The Price is Right

the low, sing it            why

 

is his telephone permanently off?            why

is he in the playground?            an Ambien coma

is looking for somebody

else’s Toyota & big deal to promise an Olive Garden

then renege.            search parking lots for closet

space & non-            alcoholic beers, a bouquet

is not a descriptive flight or a wild

 

analogy            we weren’t really in a car to have

a conversation, you weren’t            really looking

at the mirror instead of me & i didn’t forget

 

that this was my extra life.            i radiated

a destructive center            brimming to feel

(as though i mattered & that you would pull over

safely to shore). a view            of the strip mall

 

falling on me, it was just a way to construct a story

a tragedy a symphony a            personality

in the form of an anonymous

driveway, repeat after me            i’m worse it

 

 

 

“i get those messages all the time” was previously published in HVTN 4.2 2018 (UK)

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