turkey vulture quiz
when turkey vultures are threatened, they
- vomit
- play dead
- razzle dazzle
turkey vultures locate carrion by
- leaving no trace in that way
- positive thinking
- smell
the turkey vulture uses ___ to stay soaring
- the hob-heeled fist of chance
- thermals and updrafts
- various bribes and official oversight
turkey vultures pee on themselves to
- hit the jackpot
- kill the bacteria on their feet from walking through carcasses
- stay cool man
on an extreme close-up, a turkey vulture’s little red head makes you want to
- stroke the soft stubbly hairs with your index finger, barely daring to breathe; fall into a swoon forever
- find another being to take care of if you don’t have one already, sing him/her a lullaby
- marry him anyway
the head is featherless because
- the bird is in many ways negligent
- it flew to the sun which it pushed back in order to cool the world, singeing occurred
- that way rotten flesh won’t stick to it
the turkey vulture sits with its wings spread out to
- dry its feathers
- increase its surface area so as to get warm quicker
- be spooky like playing ghosts with bedsheets
unlike other raptors, turkey vultures have
- nasal passages that are completely open at each end, like a train station
- feet made for walking
- the attitude of not taking what hasn’t been freely given
a turkey vulture walks like
- getting out of a bath
- a game of hopscotch
- saying one thing and meaning another
two meters is
- a happy bubble
- the distance the birds can projectile vomit
- the average area for turkey vulture hopscotch
if a turkey vulture gorges itself it can have trouble
- admitting it’s relapsed
- regaining inner peace
- getting off the ground again
the turkey vulture soars
- in a relationship of honesty with itself
- engaging interactively with every passing thought
- in wobbly circles
turkey vultures can survive anthrax and botulism bacteria because
- they do not have a well-developed sickness vocabulary or social script, do not use “should have” or “if only” statements, and always forgive
- they are hiding right outside your door and you can’t seem to shake them off your trail
- they have highly acidic stomachs
turkey vultures can’t kill because
- they are committed to doing no harm
- they are too lazy
- they can’t grab anything with their feet
turkey vultures can be killed by
- humans who wrongly believe they attack livestock
- vehicle collisions when eating on the road (humans)
- lead in shot animals, and pesticides in other carcasses (humans)
a turkey vulture perched on a branch in a strong wind looks like
- a collapsed umbrella
- a toaster oven
- an unpredictable future
* “they are hiding …” lyrics from John Mayer, “Vultures.”
“turkey vulture quiz” was previously published in Entropy, Dec 2017 (USA).